What you identify with you become. If you perceive yourself as a confident, self assured, relaxed person who can handle whatever comes your way, you will imbibe that state naturally. However, if you identify as a worthless, messed-up, difficult person who can't seem to get it right, guess what? Your life will mirror that again and again. That is why it is very important not to identify with the stressed part of you. Don't self identify as the "worrywart" or the " problem child". That is not who you are. That is just a passing phenomenon of the mind. Identification is just another form of overthinking which can prevent experiencing the present, exactly as it is.
When a person fully experiences the now, the present moment, they are truly living. Remember times this has happened to you? When you watch a beautiful sunset, gaze into your loved one's eyes, listen to a live performance of your favorite song or rest in your favorite lounge chair watching the stars - no thinking required. You are experiencing the moment, not your thoughts about the moment. This is mindfulness. This is allowing. This is the secret to not missing out on what is happening right now.
Alan Watts, in his book The Wisdom of Insecurity, wrote "There are, then, two ways of understanding an experience. The first is to compare it with the memories of other experiences, and so to name and define it. This is to interpret it in accordance with the dead and the past. The second is to be aware of it as it is, as when, in the intensity of joy, we forget past and future, let the present be all, and then do not even stop to think ‘I am happy.’"
Being aware of things as they are is true mindfulness. Live from reality not your ideas of reality. One of the best techniques to cultivate mindfulness in your life is curiosity. Being curious about what you are experiencing makes you more alert, more in tune with the nuances of each moment. Curiosity is a natural state for all of us as children, but we lose it more and more as we grow older and the stress overtakes us. It’s time to reignite your innate curiosity. Self identify as a curiosity person and you will live more mindfully with no effort required.